I am fortunate enough to have four wonderful women I meet with every other week for writing and critique support. During one of the meetings we were reviewing my peer’s work and I was really enjoying the effort she put into her project. I made a comment, “I’m not as smart as you, you’re such a better writer.” I was joking, but there was truth behind my feelings.
She looked at me and said, “You know you’ve said that more than once tonight. You need to be kinder to yourself.” Her words were sweet and said with a smile.
The lesson sunk into my gut and I thought to myself, “Wow, do I do this all the time? Why am I beating myself up?”
From that moment I began to pay attention to my inner dialogue as well as the unfiltered crap that falls out of my mouth. I catch myself thinking I’m not good enough, pretty enough, established enough, smart enough in so many various things from packing my kids lunch (is it healthy enough, I suck at this) to editing my novel that’s collecting dust (the process is going to be so hard, I’m no good at it, the book is going to be horrible). See where I’m going?
Yes. I make New Year’s resolutions because it reminds me of what’s important. Sure, I want to lose a few pounds just like the next guy, however, I try to concentrate on things that will stick with me. Unlike the next fad diet, learning to be kinder to myself will go along way. Confidence! Understanding that someone might be better, but that doesn’t mean I’m not good. Often it’s a sign that there are differences in one human to the next. How’s that for a concept? We’re all not at the same level, have the same interests, or hold things in the same regard. Curious, isn’t it?
I have a few more resolutions I’ll share over the next few weeks. Yes, a few. Because I need a backup plan in case one becomes unattainable (read: in case I become lazy).
Melisa Peterson Lewis 
That’s a fantastic resolution. I do not make resolutions myself, but I do have vague goals. I may just have to steal yours and use it as my own. I think it is important that feelings like: “I can do this!” should win out over the more negative things we talk ourselves in and out of. It would certainly go towards achieving the success you mentioned in your recent blog post.
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It is amazing just being aware of how often I put myself or my work down. It’s more than I thought. Awareness has been a mental health goal for about three years now. It sparked from a resolution and it’s been life changing. Good luck in the new year friend!
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