Identical Woe

I remember the first time I used the internet to look up my physical symptoms. We’ve all done it for one reason or another. Often the internet scares the heck out of us and tells us we are going to die or we should see a doctor right away. Add increased heart rate to the symptom list!

As someone who suffers from anxiety I often worry that my children will have an identical mental composition. Will I pass this thing on to them? Will they one day be Googling their panic attack symptoms to figure out what’s wrong with them? It’s so hard not to let my anxiety show through when they are in situations that make me anxious. Will they learn just by observation?

I calmly tell my over active brain to chill out. Relax. Yes, they could have some anxiety. The apple did not fallen far from the tree for my side of the family. The idea of passing my anxiety on to the kids is crippling and overwhelmingly sad. However, if they do have this thing that I have, they will not be alone. I will walk beside them on their journey as much as they need me to. Though I also promise to let them fly solo, which is so important for self discovery and growth.

It’s a roll of the dice, my children could also be more like my completely calm and laid back husband, who exhibits zero anxiety even in very trying situations. In other words, he’s the normal one. So my kids could be normal, leaving me to be the anxious one. That is actually a very fine thought.

This is a response to the Daily Prompt: Identical