Everyone always starts with Rock, so I should do Paper. It’s the obvious choice. Paper covers Rock and wins. What if everyone knows that already? I can’t be the first person in the universe to figure this one out. If this is the case I should go with Scissor, because everyone knows that Scissor cuts Paper and wins.
Weighing decisions, rather big or small, feel like playing a game. Though the rules may seem clear, the consequences of my actions are not. So many times in my life I have been met with pivotal moments that shoot me out in random directions. Everyone follows their own path. To think there is a right path to follow, would assume that if I wasn’t on the right path then I must be doing something wrong.
I have anxiety, though it is resting at the moment and not really causing too much havoc in my life. This too is part of my story. I don’t like it. Is there a way to make the period at the end of that last sentence larger than life? I hate anxiety [PERIOD!!!]
Anxiety is my Rock. It’s a hard place that I get stuck on. I find myself scrambling to turn it off or just slow it down sometimes. Even if the rock is not in play, I know it could pop up at any time. The fear that it will be played again at any moment never leaves my consciousness. My guard is always up.
Writing is my Paper, it helps to smother rock (anxiety) and release the demons from within. It allows me to sort things out, express myself creatively, and it has opened doors to a possible new career. Paper consists of many components such as therapy, physical activity, and finding time for myself.
The Scissor is a tricky tool. I work hard to cut things out of my life I don’t need. Rather it is people, expenses, bad habits, or plaguing thoughts that don’t resonate with me. It’s not easy to cut things out, even if doing so benefits me in the end. Rock (anxiety) crushes scissors and wins. I struggle to not let rock take over when I’m bettering myself. Though it makes me question every move I make. It taunts me and tells me I’m not worthy, I’m not smart enough, I will lose. I push it aside, but sometimes it still wins.
Rock. Scissor. Paper. A continuous game.
Can you relate? If you had to analyze rock, scissors or paper, what would your associations be?
Melisa Peterson Lewis 